How to be Stressed Out

There are many videos of how to's. How to do your hair, how to be gangster... even how to play with a butterfly knife. So, here's my how to on how to be stressed.

One: Have a lot of people depend on you: This step is very easy if you're a good mom, sister, friend, or even person. As being a good person makes more people want to know you, it also makes them want your help. They want your help with homework, babysitting, and other things. Being a good person leads to stress.

Two: Have nobody to depend on yourself: This step is essential to being a stressed filled person. If you feel that you have basically no one to complain to and whine to about how stressed you are, this will only make you feel more stressed by bottling up the emotion. While you could use your blog, it doesn't really matter because few people read it anyway, so you're really only writing down how much of a whiner you really are.

Three: Have friends: Having friends make people want to do things, namely, things that involve money. These actives include movie tickets, Lagoon, and going out to eat. Doing these things leads to stress number four.

Four: Have no money: This step is easy. Simply get a crappy and low paying job. This job should give you an unsure/uneven amount of hours so you never have a set paycheck.

Five: Have a lot of stuff you need to pay for: Whether it be fun or essential, this step always increases one's level of stress. You need medicine because your head hurts? Too bad, little missy! You don't have money for it! Want to go to the movies with friends you haven't seen in a long time and some are going on their missions? Not today you can't! Need to buy some new clothes because all you own is work clothes? No can do, lassie! Timmy fell in the well and you need to pay the next door neighbor for a ladder? Too bad for lil' Tim, looks like you're living down there until a few more paychecks come along!

Seven: Live away from family: By doing this step alone can increase your stress level tremendously. While living with family could be deemed stressful, I can assure you, it is much more stressful to live where you have to pay for everything. These things include necessitous like food, shelter, and Internet so you can vent to others about how stressed you are.

Eight: Have a terrible job: Yes, it's true! If your job sucks, it can make your life suck! If most of your time is spent at a job where, let's say, you get crappy pay, get frequently yelled at all day by costumers and supervisors alike, and cry in the stockrooms, your stress level will increase immediately.

Nine: Don't complain: By learning this simple rule from childhood, you too can learn to bottle up every emotion that others deem "bad" such as complaining and learning not to complain to anyone! This also includes crying about troubles and yelling at being angry. Remember kids, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Ten: Have people yell at you and take it: Yes, whenever someone yells at you, teach yourself now not to fight back! No matter it be in person, over the phone, email, or through a text message! Remember to smile and apologize for things that aren't your fault and not tell anyone else about the yelling incident.

SO by following these simple steps, you too can learn to be stressed! Have a great, stressful day, and remember, be stressed!! :0)

QUOTES I LIKE ON STRESSING:

"Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it."

"Brain cells create ideas. Stress kills brain cells. Stress is not a good idea." --Frederick Saunders

"Stress is nothing more than a sociably acceptable form of mental illness." --Richard Carlson

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"Maturity is achieved when a person accepts life as full of tension." -Joshua L. Liebman

"A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare." -William Henry Davies

"Stress is poison." -Agavé Powers

"When I look at my hands and in my heart, I see stress as Lady Macbeth saw blood." -Berri Clove