Standing and Falling

Part I: Standing

The Last One Standing

I inhale, yet cannot draw breath.
I scream, yet I cannot forget.
Your smile as we fought in war,
Our imminent defeat, you ignored.
So we fought on, yet this is so wrong,
For I am left standing, and your life is gone.

I cry, yet no tears stream down my face,
I choke, yet I still stand in place.
You’d look like you’re peacefully sleeping,
Save your blood into the ground is seeping.
In the end, it should’ve been you that was fine,
Yet it’s not me, but you, who died.

I grip my sword, yet yours lies still,
I swallow my hurt, yet it’s still there.
Why did you throw away your life to save mine?
I wasn’t worth your last good bye.
But before you lied still for forever, you told me this last truth:
“I couldn’t stand to live alone without you”

Your breathing was shallow,
For me, you threw your life in the gutter.
You say you wouldn’t change a thing,
And I see your eyes start darkening.
And you leave me far more broken than before,
For before you left, you uttered those three cruel words.

We’d been fighting side by side for years,
We knew of each other’s faults and fears.
My fault wasn’t watching my back,
And yours was taking my attack.
You apologized for nothing, save for leaving me alone,
For if you couldn’t live without me, how do you expect me to go on?

Yet those three horrible words,
You whispered before you left this world,
Keep me hanging on,
And keep me standing strong.
For when I see you once again,
I’ll take the words you gave me, and repeat them.

I doubt they’ll haunt you then as much as they do to me now,
But if you’re in my arms, it won’t matter anyhow.
For there must be a heaven, if we fight through this hell,
And I’ll again see your face that I know so very well.
You said that you loved me, and died before I could respond.
So “I love you too” will have to wait until I go with you to the beyond.

But for now I stand, and walk on to the next fight,
For if you gave up yours, I will than keep my life.
So one step turns into a few, and the few turn into hundreds,
I take your memory with me, and leave the rest of you in destruction.
For even though we are separated now, for now we’re apart,
You’re not forever in my memory, but forever carved in my heart.

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Part II: Falling

The First One Falling

We were going to lose, so I smiled and pressed on,
For now we were winning, and still fighting strong.
But the day was going on, and the battle was not done,
Our strength was running out, and we were on the run.
The attack that came for you, you would’ve never seen,
I felt myself moving, and ended my life at nineteen.

The move had been wrong, it had to be a mistake,
Yet I knew in my heart there was no other way.
The move was correct, and you were still alive,
And as the blood leaves my body, I watch you turn and fight.
I know you’ll be safe as reinforcements arrive,
And once they start fighting, you’re right at my side.

While falling, I pondered why I had done what I done,
Why did I save your life while mine would now soon be gone?
A million answers run through my brain,
My fall is slow as one answer remains the same.
I couldn’t lose you, I couldn’t lose my light,
For your light is what really saved my life.

We met on the streets, where children and adults were killed,
We made it out of that place, and learned a new skill.
For the only way to escape death was to handle a sword,
So we learned together and took on the world.
The battles where long but our friendship was longer,
For when either of us fell, the other one was forced to be stronger.

But the wounds always healed and the bleeding always stopped,
And as I reach the ground I know that this time I’m too chopped up.
This wound is fatal, and we won’t be walking away,
For you will go on to the next battle, and here I will stay.
But soon you’re by my side, as the world darkens in and out,
And I whisper the words for so long I danced about.

I love you, and couldn’t live without you by my side,
So I lost myself to give you another chance at life.
You look so hurt, and I feel so heavy with sleep,
So I close my eyes, and let myself go into a very long dream.
For one day, we will meet again, and once again be friends,
For our fates are tied together and we’ll know each other till the end.

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I wrote this a while ago, and while neither persons gender is not disclosed, I wrote with "Standing" as a guy and "Falling" as a girl when writing their point of view in poems. I didn't even realize I didn't specify which one was which gender until I finished both of them and I figured I might as well leave it up for the reader to decided.

Thoughts? Questions? Mm... Let me know. Just thought I'd post this bit of random after such a depressing post ten minuets earlier. (Although this isn't exactly a ray of sunshine either...)

Loves, hugs, and dynamite,

-Janaye