What I've Learned from Work

So here's just a few things I've learned from my job, hopefully you'll enjoy the list.
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Working in Retail

FUNNY STUFF:

Boxes: You know those display beds? Yeah, most of them aren't on mattresses, but wooden boxes. These boxes make our "mini bed displays" Look like a mattress without an actually mattress.

Kids and Boxes: When kids see the fluffy beds and decorative pillows and run in for a belly flop and face dive on our "mattress", I always have to turn away to laugh because the sound the box makes and the sound the kid makes afterwards is always hilarious.

I'll Go Check in the Back: A common phrase used to get away from cranky costumers that always works.

Help: "Do you need help finding anything today?" Either people will smile and say no or ask me to help them with every. Little. Thing. :)

Quilts vs. Comforters: Lesson learned. Any person 55 and under wants a comforter. Any person 55 and older wants a quilt. All old ladies want QUILTS. It kinda makes me think, 'Uhhh... Shouldn't you be making one or something?'

Sweetheart: Old people calling me sweetheart: Kind of cute. Middle aged people calling me sweetheart: Annoying, since they're only five years older than me, but I shrug it off. When people I work with call me sweetheart: I avoid seeing them, as of it seems to be my name or something. Every thirty seconds around them, "sweetheart" is being said, and than I remember it's refering to me.

Fantasy: Thinking about what would happen if you just snapped at the "sweetheart" person and gave an awesome speech like all the chick flic movies do...

Nametag: Doesn't have my picture on it... Yes!

Lanyard: Good for making co-workers laugh when you pretend to hang yourself with it.

Scruffy: Apparently, our store manager is growing a beard. When I asked my supervisor on my second day of work if the scruffy man was the head hancho boss, she laughed and said yes. Later, with me there, she re-told him this story, emphansizing the way I called him scruffy.

Sence of Humor: My head hancho boss has it.

Phone: I answer phone calls for my department... I get the weirdest questions from temperpedic pillows to people asking me if I can put leapord print satin sheets on hold.

Price Scanners I: Make loud sounds. I can see awesome stuff like future sells and such on them. However, finding how much it will cost after your employee discount isn't a feature.

Price Scanners II: Make you look like you're being usefull by scanning random things. Playing with the lazer is cool too.

Lamps: Their's one with fringe that I always have to play with when I walk by.

Voice: I've realized while at work, whenever I greet someone, it sounds like I'm talking to a dog. I'm just that peppy.

Catalog: Very few people want to use it.

"Get Back to Work": Say it to co-workers while they're working. It confuses them, than makes them laugh.

Accent: I need to learn Chinese, Spanish, and Arabic... because I can't understand your accent sometimes... o.O'

Phone Extensions: Passing someone you're on the phone with to someone else so they can better help them/deal with them.

No: I'm not allowed to say this word to costomers... Apparently, only Supervisors can...

Music I: How many times the song you love plays in the store per shift: 1. How many times they play that annoying, screechy, hillbilly song per shift: 3,634,464,235,248,978,235.

Music II: I smile when I hear the following songs being played in the teenage men's clothing section (They and teenage girls get different, more "hipper" music than the rest of the store)
Irreplaceable by Beyonce. A song about a girl making her ex move out.
Love Story by Taylor Swift... actually, anything Taylor Swift is weird to hear amongst the graphic tee's and emo shirts...
And of course...
Single Ladies by Beyonce. No explanation needed for this song...

Music III: The music playing in our store is the exact same music playing in all the other stores in Utah.

Price Matching: Macey's called today to price match for, apparently, the first time in two years...

Coupons: making your total go from $375 some odd dollars down to $150-ish.

Employee Number: I was so close to having my employee number be 0626... so close to having Stitch's alien experiment number!!

Smile: Barbie wishes she could do it as good as I can.

Names I: We all have nick-names, or something close to it. The boys in the Home department have Drag Queen names and the girls all have Butch names. Here's the list:
Daisy = David Dynamite
Diana = Dangerous Dill
Janaye = Jagged Jared
...And my favorite...
Kaleb: Kayla Kandie (Candy)

Sorry: Sorry Kayla... Sorry you're name became Drag Queen worthy with Candy with a "K" and "ie" at the end...
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NUMBERS I WONDER IF I SHOULD KNOW

Parental Guidence Consoler
Boot Camp
Old Folks Home (I think they lose some of their people sometimes...)
and,
Couples Consoling.
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COINCIDENCE

Names II: My Manager is named Sjanna (pronounced "Shawna") with a younger sister named Kayla.
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AMAZING THINGS

Help: It always makes me smile no matter what mood I'm in, when the frail, shaky old lady gets on the bus and a tattooed, tough looking black man stands to lead her to an empty seat.
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So far, that's it. The "Coincidence" and "Amazing Things" just didn't fit into the funny category, so they recived their own. :)