I Made Something Pretty

So in my last post I talked about how I had dinner with Brandon and his family, so here's some of the thank you letter I wrote to his family, I'm only posting it because it's pretty and I spent some time on it and thougth it came out good... even though half the sequins will probably fall off... Oh well. :)



This is the back of the envelope, the front has somewhat the same pattern...



And this is the front of the letter I wrote. Yes? No? Good or bad? Let me know. :)

Pot Roast Sunday's

Tonight I had dinner at Brandon’s house, a Sunday dinner with most of his family. His sister Jessica, her husband Cody and their son Amman. His soon-to-be-engaged sister Tera and her soon-to-be-fiancé Scott, his parents and of course, Brandon.

It reminded me of when we used to have Shawna and sometimes Christina come up for Sunday dinner. We’d have the traditional pot roast and Carissa would complain, Kayla and I would set the table and mom would be busy buzzing around the stove.

Maybe I’m recalling it better than it really was, but I realized that tonight, I missed when we used to do this. When Sunday was the family, eight or ten chairs around the table, four kids at the bar stools and one in the high chair or sleeping in the play pen. It made me miss seeing my nieces and nephews and being able to play with them and see how big they where getting.

Heck, I even miss The Sound of Music and Saturday’s Warriors. That’s how much I’m willing to have just one more pot roast Sunday. I miss Stacey having us try to guess “What movie?!” And then turning around to make herself look like she was making out with someone. How that’s The Sound of Music in that one action alone, I will never know.

I miss saying Cole is Jimmy from Saturday’s Warrior while singing that stupid song to him, all of us taking a different chorus. I even miss playing card games like nertz and speed. Heck, I’ll even say I miss playing that stupid golf card game that we all so badly sucked at. (Most of the time). I just miss my family, I miss being close with everyone and knowing how everyone is doing. Having smiles and laughter spring around the house and everyone trying to get a turn to talk. I miss the stupid fights of who sits where and who was the chillin’s favorite aunt.

It’s sad that we’re not so close, nobody really calls to see how anyone is doing and so on and so forth, but for tonight, I could pretend that Brandon’s family was mine, back when I was in Jr. High, when things were less complicated and the family was still close and important. When having mom burn the roast was funny and picking at the food before it was placed on the table and not being caught. (or being caught and being screwed)

Heck, I’ll even say I miss washing dishes and singing church songs and the Piano Man song as we took our duties of sweeping, clearing, washing, and putting away. I miss dancing around the house because we didn’t care and having Shawna be the best/worst dancer of all. (Sorry Shawna, dancing to Celine Deion in the 90’s was cool, dancing to Piano Man with moves from the 90’s… not so much…) :o)

I miss sitting and talking or just listening or watching Anika and Courtney run away from Isaac, who was so slow and unsteady that he was always two minutes too late following them around the entry level of the house. I miss playing hide and seek from the kids, scaring them and chasing them away. I miss going to bed early because all the cool and fun people left and we were so full, it didn’t matter anyway.

And yeah, I’m sure I’m forgetting the fights, the angry arguments that lead to leaving early and whatever else, but for tonight, I got to remember those amazing memories of having a family again.

I miss pot-roast Sunday's.

Catch Me

Sometimes, you just hear a song, and it makes you just feel happy or at least calm. This is one of those songs. It's called "Catch Me" By Demi Lavato, so go buy it because I want to.
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CATCH ME

Before I fall too fast
Kiss me quick
But make it last
So I can see how badly this will hurt me
When you say good bye

Keep it sweet
Keep it slow
Let the future pass
And dont let go
But tonight I could fall too soon into this beautiful moonlight

But your so hypnotising
You got me laughing while I sing
You got me similing in my sleep
And I can see this unravling
And your love is where im falling
But please dont catch me

See this heart
Wont settle down
Like a child running scared from a clown
I'm terrified of what you'll do
my stomach screams just when I look at you

Run far away
So I can breath
Even though your far from suffocating me
I can't set my hopes to high
Cuz every hello ends with a goodbye

But your so hypnotising
You've got me laughing while I sing
You've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unravling
Your love is where im falling
But please dont catch me

So now you see
Why I'm scared
I cant open up my heart without a care
But here I go
Its what I feel
But for the first time in my life I know its real

But you're so hypnotising
You've got me laghing while I sing
You've get me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unravling
And your love is where im falling
So please don't catch me

And if this is love
Please don't break me
I'm giving up
So just catch me

Goals

Six Months From Now
September 24th, 2010
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5) Know what I want to major in for Spring Semester.
4) Take a drawing class.
3) Do well in my drawing class.
2) Have money.
1) Have my Halloween Costume (or most of it)
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One Year From Now
April 24th, 2011
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5) Be in School
4) Have a job still/a new one.
3) Have/Be acting in a play.
2) Taken a vacation.
1) Do good in school.
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Five Years From Now
April 24th, 2015
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5) Have finished school.
4) Have a real job from said schooling.
3) Finally have a vehicle.
2) Still be in touch with my best friends from Jr. High and High School.
1) Have my own house/apartment.
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Just some thoughts on goals I have in mind, just so I can remind myself what direction I'm going in... Some guidelines. Some rules to my own life. What are yours?

Judges are for Courtrooms, Not for My Everyday Life

JUDGES ARE FOR COURTROOMS,

NOT FOR MY EVERYDAY LIFE

The Venting Post

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I'm guilty. Straight up guilty. Yes, fine, I'm guilty. Happy now? Go ahead and just judge me, but know you're not the only one.

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I'm tired of people finding out a few things on my mind and than freakin' screwing me over with them. I'm tired of being pin pointed down and microscoped and poked and prodded at and than people making grand assumptions about me. I'm tired of those who haven't talked to me in weeks (sometimes people do it even if they'ved talked to me yesterday) talk to me for thirty seconds just to tell me what I've done wrong.

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Honestly, who the heck are you to judge me? You're own life is falling to pieces so don't you dare tell me what's so wrong with mine.

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Really, everyone experiences things differently. So even if you've "been in my position" in life, I'll see it different than you and react differently from you, so I'm so bloody well sorry if I'm not just like you. Let alone you know every detail of what I'm dealing with right now or am still dealing with from the past. So, like I said, I'm sorry. I'm so freakin' sorry.
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So yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not up to your standards I'm sorry you think I'm so pointless or whatever else. I'm sorry people must always guilt me into everything or just make me feel guilty and at fault. Geez, I'm tired of feeling guilty and apologizing for things that aren't my bloody fault. Stop guilting me. I'm tired of the stone in my stomach growing larger because you don't want to look like the bad guy for one stinkin' second when you deserve what you bring upon yourself, so you pass me your role. That's YOUR role. Stomach it or stop acting like the bad guy.

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Geez, if you're going to play the part than take the title.

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So yeah, go ahead and judge me. I'm already in jail, so why not? Why the murder not. Go for it. Tell me how horrible I am and than just leave. Me. Alone.

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This is the result of feeling guilty and than realizing it's not even my fault, so I'm tired of feeling guilty when I don't deserve it. I'm sick of it. I'm ready to just cut off all ties with practically everyone to get away from it. So yeah. I'm not trying to pinpoint anyone, it's just something I've come to realize in time that keeps happening to me. -sigh- I need a backbone that won't let anyone snap it.

For a Laugh

I saw this, laughed, and decided to spam my own blog with it. Enjoy.

(In case you can't read it, the picture on the left says "I has a bucket" The picture on the right says, "Noooo they be stealin' my bucket")

Braden Paulsen's Farewell

Yesterday was my Paulsen's farewell. He's leaving and I'm trying not to go insane.

I met Braden in seventh grade. I don't even remember how we met, only that we did. We've been friends since than, and I'm going to miss him like crazy.

Some people don't understand when I say he's like my brother. Sure, we don't have blood ties, but sometimes you don't need them.

He's been there for me when nobody else was. He's listen to my rants and cries at one in the morning. He's made me face myself when I have rather ran for the hills.

Don't think it's all one way. I've been there for him as much as I can. I try to see him as often as time will let me and when we talk it's for hours.

I'm going to miss my friend, my brother. I really am. He's always been nice to me, and I find him to be one of the few people I can respect. He's taught me so much and I don't know what's going to happen in the two years he's gone. I might change a lot, or he might. When he comes back, we might not get along and be two different people in general.

So here's to my Paulsen, the one who helped me when others gave up. The one of the few who believe in me when I don't, and the one who's changed my life for good.

Thank you, Braden. So very much, now go teach and preach, you'll be amazing at it, you always have been.

Braden and I

The girls giving Braden one last kiss goodbye

Smiling prettily.

The group. From left to right, Jessica, Braden, Alex, Rachael, Janaye, Brandon, Adrian, Cody, Ashely, Megan, and Megan. (Yes, two Megan's)

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We love you and will miss you, Braden! Good luck in the missionary world! Do us (and God) proud! :')