JUDGES ARE FOR COURTROOMS,NOT FOR MY EVERYDAY LIFE
The Venting Post
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I'm guilty. Straight up guilty. Yes, fine, I'm guilty. Happy now? Go ahead and just judge me, but know you're not the only one.
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I'm tired of people finding out a few things on my mind and than freakin' screwing me over with them. I'm tired of being pin pointed down and microscoped and poked and prodded at and than people making grand assumptions about me. I'm tired of those who haven't talked to me in weeks (sometimes people do it even if they'ved talked to me yesterday) talk to me for thirty seconds just to tell me what I've done wrong.
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Honestly, who the heck are you to judge me? You're own life is falling to pieces so don't you dare tell me what's so wrong with mine.
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Really, everyone experiences things differently. So even if you've "been in my position" in life, I'll see it different than you and react differently from you, so I'm so bloody well sorry if I'm not just like you. Let alone you know every detail of what I'm dealing with right now or am still dealing with from the past. So, like I said, I'm sorry. I'm so freakin' sorry.
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Really, everyone experiences things differently. So even if you've "been in my position" in life, I'll see it different than you and react differently from you, so I'm so bloody well sorry if I'm not just like you. Let alone you know every detail of what I'm dealing with right now or am still dealing with from the past. So, like I said, I'm sorry. I'm so freakin' sorry.
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So yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not up to your standards I'm sorry you think I'm so pointless or whatever else. I'm sorry people must always guilt me into everything or just make me feel guilty and at fault. Geez, I'm tired of feeling guilty and apologizing for things that aren't my bloody fault. Stop guilting me. I'm tired of the stone in my stomach growing larger because you don't want to look like the bad guy for one stinkin' second when you deserve what you bring upon yourself, so you pass me your role. That's YOUR role. Stomach it or stop acting like the bad guy.
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Geez, if you're going to play the part than take the title.
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So yeah, go ahead and judge me. I'm already in jail, so why not? Why the murder not. Go for it. Tell me how horrible I am and than just leave. Me. Alone.
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This is the result of feeling guilty and than realizing it's not even my fault, so I'm tired of feeling guilty when I don't deserve it. I'm sick of it. I'm ready to just cut off all ties with practically everyone to get away from it. So yeah. I'm not trying to pinpoint anyone, it's just something I've come to realize in time that keeps happening to me. -sigh- I need a backbone that won't let anyone snap it.
4 comments:
I'm sorry Janaye if I fit into that group. I hope not. I love you!
How could it be you Carissa? I never talk to you! ;) But yeah. Basically, I'm sick and tired of people either judging me or making me fill guilty when it's really their fault. Really? Seriously? If you're going to make yourself the vitim, than at least realise you where the bad guy in the first place. Ooo snap, that's deep...
Janaye, I love you!!! For the record, I think you are soooooo amazing. I've been meaning to call you and apoligize for some things. I just worry that it's not the right time or that it will make things worse for you. It doesn't help that right now I spend life in a grog of sickeyness (?word/sp) and can't really focus to make decisions. You are right about judging. Take comfort that those who do will suffer more than you ever did/will (hell!) I love you and please don't be afraid to call (in the mornings).
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