I feel so distant from you. I feel like we get close, than pull away, feel the loneliness, and get close again... But really, I hate this distant part.
I feel like sometimes I don't even know you, and sometimes I get jealous when you tell me how much other people do. I hate feeling like I'm not the best, or even worth enough to be included in your life. I hate this feeling of dread and separation and feeling so lost.
I hate how clingy I feel. I don't want to be, and I'm not trying to be, but I just am right now. But currently, it feels like you're covered in butter and I'm trying to be clingy to you. Basically, I feel like you don't want me to be clingy to you or anything to you.
Blah. I just feel so confused right now. I guess I could've just added this to the Talking post, but I dunno. I just wrote this separately because I hate the distance... and it seems like every time we build a bridge to cross the gap, it just ends up burning or collapsing.
I hate this hurt.
I hate this distance.
But mostly, I hate this doubt I feel.
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This is my beautiful life, the only thing certian is everything changes, the lows and the highs, and all those goodbyes, as hard as it gets I know it's still amazing, it's a beautiful life...
Quotes
"It doesn't matter that I am weak right now, all that matters is that I will become stronger."
--
"Never die alone, for there will be no one to pass your heart onto."
--
"People cannot be thought to define beauty, however. Flowers can be thought to define beauty. A person's form resembles a flower, only at the time of defeat, when it is torn to peices."
--
"It's easier to crush a dream than to realize one, forming a bond is infinitely more difficult than breaking one."
--
"I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell and I'll die by your hand which I love so well." --Shakespeare
--
"Dancing on the line between the living and the dead she hums a song her mind cannot remember and her heart cannot forget."
--
"You thought I would forget you, that you need to put your image into my brain... but the fact is, that you're name will always be carved on my heart." -J.M. Stetson
--
"No matter how many times I get hurt by because of you, I won't leave you. Because even if I have a thousand reasons to leave you, I'll look for one reason to fight for you."
--
"Stand in the rain, stand your ground. Stand up when it's all coming down. You stand through the pain, you won't drown. And one day what's loss can all be found, You stand in the rain."
--
"The courses of true love never did run smooth."
--
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
--
"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved. You will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."
--
"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." -J.E. Jones
--
"I ran through out the skies, but I must awake from this sleep. For a deamon from hell, heaven can't keep."
--
"Three men and I in battle fought side by side. We slayed each others foes and never would depart. I battle alone now. Their names are my battle cry. Their memories carved on my heart."
--
"My heart was always yours to hold, but never yours to keep. You are always by my side, but never within reach."
--
Looking at you is like looking into a mirror and unfortunately, I hate what I see. I am not so narcissistic as to love my reflection, but am cruel enough to hate it."
--
"Never die alone, for there will be no one to pass your heart onto."
--
"People cannot be thought to define beauty, however. Flowers can be thought to define beauty. A person's form resembles a flower, only at the time of defeat, when it is torn to peices."
--
"It's easier to crush a dream than to realize one, forming a bond is infinitely more difficult than breaking one."
--
"I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell and I'll die by your hand which I love so well." --Shakespeare
--
"Dancing on the line between the living and the dead she hums a song her mind cannot remember and her heart cannot forget."
--
"You thought I would forget you, that you need to put your image into my brain... but the fact is, that you're name will always be carved on my heart." -J.M. Stetson
--
"No matter how many times I get hurt by because of you, I won't leave you. Because even if I have a thousand reasons to leave you, I'll look for one reason to fight for you."
--
"Stand in the rain, stand your ground. Stand up when it's all coming down. You stand through the pain, you won't drown. And one day what's loss can all be found, You stand in the rain."
--
"The courses of true love never did run smooth."
--
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
--
"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved. You will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."
--
"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." -J.E. Jones
--
"I ran through out the skies, but I must awake from this sleep. For a deamon from hell, heaven can't keep."
--
"Three men and I in battle fought side by side. We slayed each others foes and never would depart. I battle alone now. Their names are my battle cry. Their memories carved on my heart."
--
"My heart was always yours to hold, but never yours to keep. You are always by my side, but never within reach."
--
Looking at you is like looking into a mirror and unfortunately, I hate what I see. I am not so narcissistic as to love my reflection, but am cruel enough to hate it."
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1 comment:
I love your writing Janaye because it's so easy to connect to. I definitely can relate to this! I think everyone has had to deal with (at one time or another) trying to be close to someone that for some reason needs some space. It's hard!!!
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