Talking

I hate it. Talking, that is. I hate how I can never find the right words to bring something up, explain something, or answer some one's question. The words sound just right in my brain, get gargled in my lungs, shoot up through my throat and throw themselves out of my mouth.

Yeah, this is not a pleasant experience.

But what I hate more about talking is when I can't talk about it.

Well, I guess I could, but nobody would want to listen. There are questions that feel like they're literally burning in my mind and I just wish I could ask this person, but alas, I can't. Not because I don't trust them and not because I don't think they'd answer... but I don't know if they'd do so truthfully or what their reaction would be. Would they think I don't trust them? Would they wonder why I'm asking? Will I come off as nosey?

Wow, I really hate this. I've decided I really hate those questions you can't ask, want to ask, but know that if you do, it'll just screw yourself over in the end.

But...

What if you don't ask? What if you don't ask and the worst-case-scenario you've been playing in your head comes true because you bit your tongue when really you should have let all the confusion out with that once upon a time not so simple question to ask.

-sigh-

This is a predicament.

For now, I think I'll hold back the questions that are burning through my mind, try to stop the worst case scenarios, and try to sleep. I'm just tired of having this weigh me down, but alas, I guess it's my weight to carry and I'll keep it from that one person... because they're great enough that I don't want to burden them with it...

...But meanwhile, it's kinda killing me to keep it to myself...