JESUS AND THE WEEPING WILLOWS
A weeping willow, her vines hang low,
Placed in a cemetery, a beckon of woe.
She hears the new widow’s cries,
Of her husband who just died.
She listens to the old man,
Who must now tell his 42 year companion goodbye.
She hears the sob of the man,
Who just wanted to be called dad.
She picks up the whimper of a child
Who lost his mother in December.
‘Why’, she thinks, ‘Was I burdened as such a tree?
One who listens to cries and those to who God plea?
And just one night, when she wants to hang her head and sigh,
A warm voice whispers his silent prayer and cries.
A firm tone and a steady pace, his story begins.
He clears his throat, he shuffles his feet,
And now he sadly grins.
“Jesus, if you’re listening, will you take care of Kay?
The girl I married and showed me the way?
And now I’ll release her from my arms to yours,
If you promise we’ll have more years together in store.”
The man takes off his glasses and runs a hand through his gray hair,
The weeping willow now listening intently to his quiet and whispered prayer.
He shakes his head, and swallows tears,
And continues listing to a higher being his fears.
“I loved her a lot, and I was mad when you took her away,
And only now can I thank you today.
She was sick, and hurting, and I couldn’t take away the pain,
You did it for me, in one of the most hurtful ways.”
“Today she died from her cancer, a year ago,
Sometimes I wished it was me so I wouldn’t be so alone.
But today I thank you, for giving this great tree,
Her favorite where always those who reminded her of thee.
For she always pictured, while you were in Gethsemane,
You had a weeping willow with you while you prayed on bended knee.”
The man bows his head, and heaves a great sigh,
Then turns his face upward and towards the sky.
“So thank you lord, for this weeping willow tree,
To understand the hurt of those in their own Gethsemane.
So for cemeteries and for all those who die,
Thank you for giving us weeping willows to understand our cries.”
As the man walks away, the willow thinks about his speech,
How his words, did something to her teach.
So now when someone cries and starts asking why,
She hopes they remember that Jesus is by their side.
And if all she can do, is shelter their tears,
Than for them, she will forever them hear.
She will listen to their prayers and hear out their sorrows,
And continue giving hope for the always coming tomorrow.
Because even if they feel lost and distressed,
In Jesus, they will always find rest.
---
--
-
This started from my want to be burried under a weeping willow tree... and it turned out to be a lot more. Thoughts?
Friday, July 23, 2010
Poetry VI
LIES
love Lets you smile, laugh, and cry with one person.
love Inspires you to think of the impossible.
love Entices emotions you thought you’d put away.
love Sweetens every moment when you’re together.
LOVE
hate Likes to destroy everything.
hate Obscures everything.
hate Vanquishes light.
hate Envy’s the hearts feelings.
FLOWER
I used to be a flower in your hands; now all that’s left of me is a stem.
If you cannot return my feelings, than at least destroy them.
SHARDS
Too much of me,
Is scattered around.
Too much of me,
Is on the ground.
I had pulled the pieces,
Back together into one.
I had pulled the pieces together,
Now they’re again undone.
A hurt in my chest,
Says to me that you never cared.
A hurt in my heart,
Says that you where always there.
I had to pretend,
To meet the sun’s rays.
I had to pretend,
I was okay again.
The shards of my heart,
Some near and some far,
The shards of my heart,
Fade out like broken stars.
Then you come, and pick a piece up,
And I stare at your hands.
Because when you came and picked that piece up,
My heart started to once again mend.
BACKBONE
You tell me to grow a backbone, you tell me I don’t stand up for myself.
How would you like to know;
That the only person I need to grow a backbone from,
Is from someone like you…
…Who makes me feel so low...
love Lets you smile, laugh, and cry with one person.
love Inspires you to think of the impossible.
love Entices emotions you thought you’d put away.
love Sweetens every moment when you’re together.
LOVE
hate Likes to destroy everything.
hate Obscures everything.
hate Vanquishes light.
hate Envy’s the hearts feelings.
FLOWER
I used to be a flower in your hands; now all that’s left of me is a stem.
If you cannot return my feelings, than at least destroy them.
SHARDS
Too much of me,
Is scattered around.
Too much of me,
Is on the ground.
I had pulled the pieces,
Back together into one.
I had pulled the pieces together,
Now they’re again undone.
A hurt in my chest,
Says to me that you never cared.
A hurt in my heart,
Says that you where always there.
I had to pretend,
To meet the sun’s rays.
I had to pretend,
I was okay again.
The shards of my heart,
Some near and some far,
The shards of my heart,
Fade out like broken stars.
Then you come, and pick a piece up,
And I stare at your hands.
Because when you came and picked that piece up,
My heart started to once again mend.
BACKBONE
You tell me to grow a backbone, you tell me I don’t stand up for myself.
How would you like to know;
That the only person I need to grow a backbone from,
Is from someone like you…
…Who makes me feel so low...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Completed Summer Goals
So two more goals are crossed off the list.
Last night as I went and dropped off my monthly Internet bill of five dollars, I got to talking to my wi-fi owner and her roommate and we ended up making root beer floats and watching Remember Me. (I didn't like it, and not because of the main actor) but now, we're planning other actives and such.
So, goal number six is completed. I made new friends this Summer.
Also, goal number one has been completed.
Many of you know I have a friend that's name will be anonymous. We shall call her R. Haws. No, Rachael H. But for the sake of anonynoumosity, we will simply call her "Sachael".
Well, as of late, Sachael had been ditching out on activities that she either said she would go to or would come and than leave two seconds later with other "friends." (that she just happens to complain about ALL THE TIME) Well, I set a date to do a music video spoof from Miley Cyrus' "I Can't Be Tamed" and Sachael was one of the key extras. (Ironic, a "key" extra)
Anywayz, tonight I set up a meeting for those in the video to run through what was going to happen. She said she couldn't go because of her new job, and that's fine. So I asked if she would still be able to film on July 30th. My response from her?
"I'll be in Bear Lake."
...
WHAT?!
We've had this planned since July 10th... you would think if she would know if she was going to Bear Lake by than.
So what did I do?
Well, I could've just blown it off, said no big deal with a bunch of these :) 8) :D and said we could replace her OR I could actually give her a piece of my mind for bailing out on something she said she would go to AGAIN.
Option two beat me out this time.
I told her that this spoof is actually taking a lot of time and effort from a lot of people and she's basically letting everyone down, especially me because I'm supposed to be her "friend".
I told her about how hard it's been getting everyone, how making the backdrops, the human bird cage, and even costumes and make up is a lot of time and all she can give me is "Sorry."
Well, sorry didn't really fill my need for "I-think-you're-a-jerk-and-for-once-in-my-life-I'm-going-to-tell-you-that-you-are" kind of need.
She told me she was sick of people questioning their friendships with her and I told her that maybe it's because she keeps bailing out on them like she does with the rest of her friends. I also told her to get back to me when she cared about someone besides her potential boyfriends.
To that, Miss Sachael said, "Whatever, goodbye Janaye".
My reply: "See ya, or maybe I won't. I never know when you'll show when you say you will. :) Have a good night! 8)"
Was it meaner than mean? Yes. Does it feel really good to stand up for myself instead of being walked over, stomped on, mowed over with a lawn mower, chopped up, broken down, and thrown around?
Oh yes.
So to R. Haws, Rachael H., and Sachael:
No more screwing me over. We can be friends, but I'm not counting on you for nothing anymore.
Glitter, sparkle, and sunshine,
Janaye. :) :D 8)
Last night as I went and dropped off my monthly Internet bill of five dollars, I got to talking to my wi-fi owner and her roommate and we ended up making root beer floats and watching Remember Me. (I didn't like it, and not because of the main actor) but now, we're planning other actives and such.
So, goal number six is completed. I made new friends this Summer.
Also, goal number one has been completed.
Many of you know I have a friend that's name will be anonymous. We shall call her R. Haws. No, Rachael H. But for the sake of anonynoumosity, we will simply call her "Sachael".
Well, as of late, Sachael had been ditching out on activities that she either said she would go to or would come and than leave two seconds later with other "friends." (that she just happens to complain about ALL THE TIME) Well, I set a date to do a music video spoof from Miley Cyrus' "I Can't Be Tamed" and Sachael was one of the key extras. (Ironic, a "key" extra)
Anywayz, tonight I set up a meeting for those in the video to run through what was going to happen. She said she couldn't go because of her new job, and that's fine. So I asked if she would still be able to film on July 30th. My response from her?
"I'll be in Bear Lake."
...
WHAT?!
We've had this planned since July 10th... you would think if she would know if she was going to Bear Lake by than.
So what did I do?
Well, I could've just blown it off, said no big deal with a bunch of these :) 8) :D and said we could replace her OR I could actually give her a piece of my mind for bailing out on something she said she would go to AGAIN.
Option two beat me out this time.
I told her that this spoof is actually taking a lot of time and effort from a lot of people and she's basically letting everyone down, especially me because I'm supposed to be her "friend".
I told her about how hard it's been getting everyone, how making the backdrops, the human bird cage, and even costumes and make up is a lot of time and all she can give me is "Sorry."
Well, sorry didn't really fill my need for "I-think-you're-a-jerk-and-for-once-in-my-life-I'm-going-to-tell-you-that-you-are" kind of need.
She told me she was sick of people questioning their friendships with her and I told her that maybe it's because she keeps bailing out on them like she does with the rest of her friends. I also told her to get back to me when she cared about someone besides her potential boyfriends.
To that, Miss Sachael said, "Whatever, goodbye Janaye".
My reply: "See ya, or maybe I won't. I never know when you'll show when you say you will. :) Have a good night! 8)"
Was it meaner than mean? Yes. Does it feel really good to stand up for myself instead of being walked over, stomped on, mowed over with a lawn mower, chopped up, broken down, and thrown around?
Oh yes.
So to R. Haws, Rachael H., and Sachael:
No more screwing me over. We can be friends, but I'm not counting on you for nothing anymore.
Glitter, sparkle, and sunshine,
Janaye. :) :D 8)
Music = Life
So... Here's my love life according to the songs on my ipod on shuffle and chosen at random. Let's give it a gander, shall we?
When We Meet: All Around Me by Flyleaf
When We Argue: Womanizer by Britney Spears (Uh... o.O')
First Kiss: I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At the Disco! (Again... What??)
Fall in Love- MOVE!! by Thousand Foot Krutch (More of a war song... but okay...)
First Heartbreak- It's Beginning to Get to Me by Snow Patrol (fair enough)
My Theme During Break Up- Your Star by Evanescence
His Theme During Break Up- Don't Forget by Demi Lavato (Haha!)
Getting Back Together: The Saltwater room by Owl City :)
His Kisses: Here We Go Again by Demi Lavato (Dang, he must like her or something...)
My Kisses: One Week by Barenaked Ladies (What??)
Getting Married: The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars (The kill singularity?)
First Night: Last Song by Dave Days
First Marriage Argument: Paper Walls by Yellowcard
Growing Old Together: Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional
When We Meet: All Around Me by Flyleaf
When We Argue: Womanizer by Britney Spears (Uh... o.O')
First Kiss: I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At the Disco! (Again... What??)
Fall in Love- MOVE!! by Thousand Foot Krutch (More of a war song... but okay...)
First Heartbreak- It's Beginning to Get to Me by Snow Patrol (fair enough)
My Theme During Break Up- Your Star by Evanescence
His Theme During Break Up- Don't Forget by Demi Lavato (Haha!)
Getting Back Together: The Saltwater room by Owl City :)
His Kisses: Here We Go Again by Demi Lavato (Dang, he must like her or something...)
My Kisses: One Week by Barenaked Ladies (What??)
Getting Married: The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars (The kill singularity?)
First Night: Last Song by Dave Days
First Marriage Argument: Paper Walls by Yellowcard
Growing Old Together: Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Poetry Part IV
BRIDGES
We build bridges to cross the gaps in our hearts to each other,
To connect hearts and heal that which still bleeds.
This once great bridge, now dead, smothers...
Then why, for you, do I still need?
SCREAM
If I screamed, would you hear me?
Would you turn back around?
Would you hear my plea?
While your name I howl?
I scream into the darkness,
I scream into the black.
Screaming all my stress,
Screaming at your back.
But alas, no noise comes from me,
Because my screaming is not real.
It’s hidden by a smile, a laugh,
And of course, all these unshed tears.
LOOK
I’d swim through an ocean of tears,
I’d run through a field of cries,
I’d chase away all your fears,
Just to have you look me in the eyes.
RIGHT
It doesn't matter what I say or don't say.
It doesn't matter what I tell you to do or not to do.
If you honestly think what you're doing is right...
If you can honestly sleep at night and find peace in your heart...
than that's all that matters.
Whatever I do or don't do won't change what you think is right your heart.
But realise...
...Everyone else is doing the same.
Yeay for emo poems!
We build bridges to cross the gaps in our hearts to each other,
To connect hearts and heal that which still bleeds.
This once great bridge, now dead, smothers...
Then why, for you, do I still need?
SCREAM
If I screamed, would you hear me?
Would you turn back around?
Would you hear my plea?
While your name I howl?
I scream into the darkness,
I scream into the black.
Screaming all my stress,
Screaming at your back.
But alas, no noise comes from me,
Because my screaming is not real.
It’s hidden by a smile, a laugh,
And of course, all these unshed tears.
LOOK
I’d swim through an ocean of tears,
I’d run through a field of cries,
I’d chase away all your fears,
Just to have you look me in the eyes.
RIGHT
It doesn't matter what I say or don't say.
It doesn't matter what I tell you to do or not to do.
If you honestly think what you're doing is right...
If you can honestly sleep at night and find peace in your heart...
than that's all that matters.
Whatever I do or don't do won't change what you think is right your heart.
But realise...
...Everyone else is doing the same.
Yeay for emo poems!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Distant
I feel so distant from you. I feel like we get close, than pull away, feel the loneliness, and get close again... But really, I hate this distant part.
I feel like sometimes I don't even know you, and sometimes I get jealous when you tell me how much other people do. I hate feeling like I'm not the best, or even worth enough to be included in your life. I hate this feeling of dread and separation and feeling so lost.
I hate how clingy I feel. I don't want to be, and I'm not trying to be, but I just am right now. But currently, it feels like you're covered in butter and I'm trying to be clingy to you. Basically, I feel like you don't want me to be clingy to you or anything to you.
Blah. I just feel so confused right now. I guess I could've just added this to the Talking post, but I dunno. I just wrote this separately because I hate the distance... and it seems like every time we build a bridge to cross the gap, it just ends up burning or collapsing.
I hate this hurt.
I hate this distance.
But mostly, I hate this doubt I feel.
I feel like sometimes I don't even know you, and sometimes I get jealous when you tell me how much other people do. I hate feeling like I'm not the best, or even worth enough to be included in your life. I hate this feeling of dread and separation and feeling so lost.
I hate how clingy I feel. I don't want to be, and I'm not trying to be, but I just am right now. But currently, it feels like you're covered in butter and I'm trying to be clingy to you. Basically, I feel like you don't want me to be clingy to you or anything to you.
Blah. I just feel so confused right now. I guess I could've just added this to the Talking post, but I dunno. I just wrote this separately because I hate the distance... and it seems like every time we build a bridge to cross the gap, it just ends up burning or collapsing.
I hate this hurt.
I hate this distance.
But mostly, I hate this doubt I feel.
Talking
I hate it. Talking, that is. I hate how I can never find the right words to bring something up, explain something, or answer some one's question. The words sound just right in my brain, get gargled in my lungs, shoot up through my throat and throw themselves out of my mouth.
Yeah, this is not a pleasant experience.
But what I hate more about talking is when I can't talk about it.
Well, I guess I could, but nobody would want to listen. There are questions that feel like they're literally burning in my mind and I just wish I could ask this person, but alas, I can't. Not because I don't trust them and not because I don't think they'd answer... but I don't know if they'd do so truthfully or what their reaction would be. Would they think I don't trust them? Would they wonder why I'm asking? Will I come off as nosey?
Wow, I really hate this. I've decided I really hate those questions you can't ask, want to ask, but know that if you do, it'll just screw yourself over in the end.
But...
What if you don't ask? What if you don't ask and the worst-case-scenario you've been playing in your head comes true because you bit your tongue when really you should have let all the confusion out with that once upon a time not so simple question to ask.
-sigh-
This is a predicament.
For now, I think I'll hold back the questions that are burning through my mind, try to stop the worst case scenarios, and try to sleep. I'm just tired of having this weigh me down, but alas, I guess it's my weight to carry and I'll keep it from that one person... because they're great enough that I don't want to burden them with it...
...But meanwhile, it's kinda killing me to keep it to myself...
Yeah, this is not a pleasant experience.
But what I hate more about talking is when I can't talk about it.
Well, I guess I could, but nobody would want to listen. There are questions that feel like they're literally burning in my mind and I just wish I could ask this person, but alas, I can't. Not because I don't trust them and not because I don't think they'd answer... but I don't know if they'd do so truthfully or what their reaction would be. Would they think I don't trust them? Would they wonder why I'm asking? Will I come off as nosey?
Wow, I really hate this. I've decided I really hate those questions you can't ask, want to ask, but know that if you do, it'll just screw yourself over in the end.
But...
What if you don't ask? What if you don't ask and the worst-case-scenario you've been playing in your head comes true because you bit your tongue when really you should have let all the confusion out with that once upon a time not so simple question to ask.
-sigh-
This is a predicament.
For now, I think I'll hold back the questions that are burning through my mind, try to stop the worst case scenarios, and try to sleep. I'm just tired of having this weigh me down, but alas, I guess it's my weight to carry and I'll keep it from that one person... because they're great enough that I don't want to burden them with it...
...But meanwhile, it's kinda killing me to keep it to myself...
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